Handling Bridesmaid Dropouts?

Q. Just as my attendants were about to receive their dresses, one of them said she had too many commitments and wanted out. I'm disappointed but don't want to seem harsh or insensitive. How should I handle this? Should I make her pay for the dress, or should I buy it as a goodwill gesture?

A. First, gently talk over your feelings with your friend so the relationship won't be marred by this incident in the future. As for the gown, it does present a problem. You should mention to your friend that it needs to be paid for, because she may not realize her order cannot be cancelled. Ideally she should offer to foot the bill. If you really want to be kind, though, volunteer to pay for half—but that's all, or else you may end up resenting her. Her decision not to participate also raises another issue: an uneven number of bridesmaids and ushers. You can ask another person—such as a coworker or newer pal—to assume her spot, but it's also fine to have an uneven number of female and male attendants. If you do, simply send each member of the bridal party down the aisle individually or have one bridesmaid exit with two groomsmen.

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Peggy Post