Too Late to Cut the Guest List?

Q. Due to a recent financial setback, my fiancé and I are seriously considering cutting our guest list. The trouble is, we've already sent out save-the-dates. Is there a polite way to "uninvite" people without explaining our situation?

A. Unfortunately, there really is no polite way to uninvite guests. A save-the-date typically indicates an invitation is on its way, and your invitees will expect you to follow through. Instead of trimming your guest list, you may want to consider revising your wedding plans. Perhaps a simpler, scaled-back less expensive wedding would accommodate your initial guest list.

If contracts have already been signed, though, and trimming the guest list is your only option, call each person you plan on cutting and explain the reason for your retraction. As long as you've decided to trim in a logical manner—keeping just family and longtime friends, for example—those who get the call will probably understand and appreciate your honesty. Then, at a later date, host a more affordable, low-key party for people who didn't get to witness your nuptials.

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Peggy Post