Planning a Once-Canceled Wedding?

Q. Two years ago my fiancé and I got cold feet and called off our wedding at the last minute. (We returned all the gifts.) Since then, both of us have matured a great deal and are finally ready to tie the knot. Can we still have the elaborate event we've always wanted?

A. As long as you're realistic about the circumstances, you're free to plan as spectacular a celebration as you'd like. But bear in mind that canceling your big day is an emotional blow not only to the bride and groom, but also to their families, friends and would-be guests. In your case, it sounds as if you and your fiancé handled it graciously by returning the presents and waiting until you felt truly ready to marry. Still, before you replan your wedding, have a serious chat with your parents. Did they lose money when the first event was called off? If so, they may be unwilling to fund an extravagant gathering this time around.

Also understand that some guests might not respond with the same level of excitement and support as they initially did—the effort of returning gifts and nixing travel plans may have left people feeling less eager to repeat the process. This time it will be key to convey your sincerity, which can be passed along by word of mouth, starting with those closest to you. You might also want to call or send a note to some of your guests. Ideally, everyone will share in your enthusiasm.

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Peggy Post