Inviting "B-List" Guests?

Q. About a dozen invitees have RSVP'd to say they are not coming to our wedding. Now that there's some extra space on the guest list, I'd like to invite a handful of friends I didn't have room to accommodate before. Is it acceptable to do this, or will the so-called B-list guests be offended when they notice that the RSVP date has already passed?

A. Since your RSVP date has indeed come and gone, and it's printed on the reply card, it's too late to ask additional friends to attend your wedding: They are more than likely to be miffed by their designation as second-choice guests. In fact, I always counsel against standby or B guest lists, even though 10 to 20 percent of the people originally invited typically send regrets. Although brides who have a second tier of guests may be making a concerted effort to control their budget by setting a limit on the number of attendees, there's too much potential for people to feel slighted. It's far more straightforward—and less deceptive—to invite everyone you truly want to help celebrate your wedding, with the understanding that some might not be able to make it. That way no one will assume he or she is an afterthought.

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Peggy Post