Guest List Dispute?

Q. My husband and I are paying for our daughter's wedding and reception in Hawaii. We have allowed her 100 guests, but her fiancé wants to invite twice that many. Isn't it our right to decide how many invitations go out?

A. You shouldn't expect undisputed control over your daughter's wedding plans, but you are entitled to set reasonable budgetary limits. In theory both the bride and the groom should be able to invite an equal number of guests, but that can be difficult, especially when families are large and friends are plentiful.

You'll have to search for a compromise. Would the groom or his parents be willing to cover the expense of the additional guests? Could the couple forgo Hawaii in favor of a larger wedding closer to home? Be polite and diplomatic, and aim for an agreement everyone can live with.

More Etiquette Q&A

Have an etiquette question you'd like answered? Email us at weddings@instylemag.com.

Peggy Post