Alternative Seating Arrangements?

Etiquette expert Peggy Post gives advice on handling your trickiest wedding dilemmas.

Q. My fiance has a small family and a handful of close friends. I have lots of relatives and others who are important to me—plus, the wedding is in my hometown! If we follow traditional seating rules, with his guests on the right and mine on the left, the room will look out of balance. Are there other acceptable ways of seating people?

A. Of course—and you're smart to think of this in advance. First, you and your fiance should figure out how many guests each of you and your parents expect. If the discrepancy will indeed be obvious, it's completely acceptable for ushers to escort people to alternating sides of the aisle, regardless of the guests' association with the bride or groom. Just be sure to communicate your wishes clearly to the ushers in advance. (You can also avoid confusion by asking a few of your family's invitees ahead of time if they would be willing to sit on the groom's side.) Finally, so that your fiance's loved ones won't feel overwhelmed at the reception, try to make some introductions between the two families beforehand.

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