Rehearsal Dinner Invitees?

Q. Is it necessary to invite all out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner? We have so many I fear the rehearsal will be nearly as large as the wedding.

A. Out-of-towners can be invited if your budget and the circumstances allow, but it's by no means a must. Traditionally the rehearsal dinner consists of the bride and groom, all attendants and their spouses or partners, the couple's immediate families, and the clergyperson and his or her spouse. However, in our increasingly mobile society, with so many people traveling to attend weddings, inviting out-of-towners has become a trend. If you choose to include some and not others, do so in a clear-cut way—for instance, only relatives but not friends. As a thoughtful gesture toward those not included, you may offer recommendations for local restaurants. One of your attendants or someone who lives in the area may wish to take this on. Or you can send information by mail, e-mail or post it on your wedding Web site.

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